Will You Listen?

When a mother loses her only son, will you turn away from me and run?

Will the reality of how it happened make you uneasy?

I was promised he would be safe if I just listened to how things needed to be.

Did you stop to listen when we asked if 9 vaccines were safe, did you care to see?

He has allergies they confessed, dark circles are the reality of this.

You cannot say he died from this because a month did progress.

He had the strength of 15 men, he was fierce and strong, and relentless.

 

How did his strength and joy diminish, was it his time to relinquish?

How does a boy regress so quickly when all he did was love completely?

So tell me now that the shots you gave him, did not end a life so shortly antiquated.

I try and make sense of the story you gave me, that every child fits so perfectly into a mold of a schedule not tested, you took his life, you took our future.

Nobody is held accountable and I am left alone in this life so insurmountable.

You could have done them one at a time, instead, you killed him in his prime.

I’ll never see my son grow up, you took my love and life from me.

So stop and think next time they say that every child is built the same way.

 

 

 

What to Expect When You’re Expecting AND Vaccines

Protect yourself and your growing baby, avoid vaccinations during pregnancy.

Pregnancy DiabetesI remember when I became pregnant I read “What to Expect When You’re Expecting.” This book had many useful tips on the changes your body will go through, cravings, week-by-week growth, and one page on vaccinations. Of course, this book took the approach that vaccines for a pregnant woman and her growing baby are safe and effective. It does say that live viruses are not good for a pregnant woman, but that the Tdap, flu, and Hep-B are perfectly safe. The same goes for the Center for Disease Control (CDC) which states “The CDC wants you to know that vaccines are an important part of a healthy pregnancy. Certain diseases can be very serious for you and your developing baby during your pregnancy. Getting vaccines during your pregnancy can help protect you both and provide your newborn with some early disease protection.”(https://www.cdc.gov/vaccines/pregnancy/downloads/what-to-expect.pdf)

A recent study was featured on The Today Show headed by Dr. James Donahue an epidemiologist at the Marshfield Clinic in Wisconsin. Note this study was also funded by the CDC. It studied pregnant women who received the flu shot in combination with the H1N1 vaccine over the 2010-12 flu season. Results showed that 485 women had spontaneous miscarriages 1-28 days following that combination. “The overall aOR in the 28-day window was 2.0, or double the risk, but those findings, in contrast to the H1N1 subset, were not statistically significant. There was no association seen in any other exposure window.” They have decided to continue vaccinating pregnant women even after the evidence was profound that these vaccines caused “Double The Risk” of miscarriage and stillbirth. The CDC has decided to disregard the findings of this study and continue to administer the flu shot to pregnant women. The study is ongoing, however, it’s initial findings are evident, yet the CDC vaccinates.

My question to the CDC is why are you not holding off on killing children so that you can do further research on the connection between vaccines and pregnant women? Any other medication goes through strenuous testing and research trials, but vaccines have never been tested in combination with each other, nor has the entire vaccine schedule been tested as a whole. Why do scientists, health officials, and drug companies spend so much more on research regarding Viagara than it does on testing vaccines that are injected into pregnant women and children?

2017-10-23_0516In September 2012 Dr. Gary Goldman released a study in the Human and Environmental Toxicology Journal (HET) “Reporting a 4,250 percent increase in the number of miscarriages and stillbirths reported to Vaccine Adverse Event Reporting System (VAERS) in the 2009/2010 flu season. For those not familiar with VAERS, this is a database setup for physicians and patients to report vaccine-related death and injuries. However, this data has to be skewed because only 10% of vaccine-related injury and fatalities are reported to VAERS, so the number should be higher.

If the CDC will not hold-off on vaccinating pregnant women until they complete their research, then we are all truly test subjects awaiting their results. We have not voluntarily signed up for this research and women should be appalled they are used in this manner. My advice to pregnant women is not to get vaccinated during pregnancy until the CDC can complete their studies and research and provide a definitive outcome. Don’t let your unborn baby be a statistic. If you want to improve your pregnancy, do so with diet, exercise, and avoidance of environmental toxins. Don’t let anyone else determine what is safe and effective for your baby when they haven’t even completed the research to be able to make that statement.

Resources:

Goldman, G. (2013). Comparison of VAERS fetal-loss reports during three consecutive influenza seasons: Was there a synergistic fetal toxicity associated with the two-vaccine 2009/2010 season? Human & Experimental Toxicology32(5), 464–475. http://doi.org/10.1177/0960327112455067

 

 

 

 

 

 

I’ll Save You

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I’ve been having very vibrant dreams lately. They are filled with worry and they have one unifying theme…I am trying to save Johnathan.

I would always tell Johnathan that nothing bad could happen to him because mama would never let it. I would become this strong and fearless supermom if harm ever came his way. When people laughed at his helmet, I stared them down. When the first pediatric neurosurgeon wanted to cut his skull from ear-to-ear, I got a second opinion. When people stopped and stared when his behavior wasn’t “normal” I would hold him in my arms and tell him over and over how much I love him.

I never thought that doing the right thing could harm my son. I had always believed in the power of modern medicine and the benefits of vaccinations. Johnathan had every shot the CDC schedule recommended. I was listening to his doctors and adhering to the belief that they knew what was best for him.

On January 16, 2017, Johnathan went to his 4-year “wellness” visit where he received 9 vaccines at one time. On February 25, 2017, Johnathan suffered a Grand mal seizure and never woke up. After his shots, he was getting sick all the time at school. He continued to have fevers, clammy skin, and dark circles under his eyes. His behavior worsened and his progress he had made was rapidly regressing.

I can’t forgive myself for allowing the vaccines to take my son’s life. I will have to live every day with the knowledge that I gave permission for a doctor to poison my son’s immune system and brain. Some of you may experience that same guilt and as you know it tears you up every day. I see his face in a photograph and I want to scream at the top of my lungs that I had a choice. I hear his soft voice in a video and I want to tear my heart out because I thought I was doing the right thing.

Some people will tell you that it wasn’t your fault and that the doctor should have advised me of possible side effects. I now know that every aspect of your child’s health should be researched and scrutinized. Why didn’t I know this before?

For some of you reading this, you may have children who will be visiting their pediatrician for one of those “wellness” visits. I won’t tell you what to do or what not to do, but I urge you to do your own research. If you visit the resource page on this blog you will see many articles, videos, and testimonies regarding vaccinations and their harm to our children.

I can’t save my son, but my hope is that you’ll save yours.

Resources

Interview With the Vaxxed Team

 

I want to express how thankful I am to Polly and The Vaxxed Team for letting me tell Johnathan’s story. The work all of you do and the dedication to this cause shows in every story that would have otherwise been untold. You help grieving parents heal by providing them a platform to speak from their hearts.

We need to stop this injustice that’s harming and killing our children around the world. We need to join together and stand up for the littles ones who can’t tell their stories.

We need to ask the tough questions and we need to demand answers. What are you injecting into our children?

The Road Ahead

“Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by.”~Robert Frost
roads-diverging
This life didn’t turn out the way I intended. It seems I have been battling a war my entire adult life. The loss of my son is the most tragic example of a life with intentions not met. I will never see my son graduate high-school, wait for his beautiful bride at the end of the aisle, lovingly hold his children, or have him hold my hand as I leave this Earth (physically of course). I can’t change what has happened and that is the most difficult realization.
Every morning when I wake up a great sadness enters my thoughts as I remind myself again that it was not all a terrible dream. I get ready for my day of pretending that I am okay and that I can handle anything. I do it well as I walk into work and focus on the task at hand. Nobody knows but me that my mind is consumed with thoughts of my son. I see his face in every one I meet and I hear his voice in every song I hear. How am I doing people ask, and I reply that I am fine and doing better every day. This is a line I have taught myself to speak on command in order to keep my job and live this “life”.
I do find happiness in signs from Johnathan and his constant ethereal presence in my life keeps me going. We hold conversations in my heart where he placed himself when he left this world. He leaves me feathers in the cemetery, pennies in the treadmill at the gym, heart-shaped stones, and the color yellow decorates this world in a way I never noticed before. He speaks to me through others reminding me to be happy and that he is always with me.
Ever since Johnathan was born I had this plan that no matter what happens in life as long as I had him life held meaning and purpose. I used to say that no matter how many failed relationships I had, having my little boy with me was all that I needed because he would never leave me. Not once did the thought of him leaving before me ever enter my mind. Until it happens, a parent has no idea nor can they fathom the reality of the greatest loss ever experienced.
I had to accept that my son was no longer with me in the physical since and that I can’t bring him back to life. I had to choose the road less traveled and it was no longer optional. I had to push forward on that road even though many times I was crawling and bleeding on the path. How does one build on a future when they only live in the past? I have no answers.
The only way I know how to push ahead is to hold onto my faith in God and to let him carry me down this road when I am just about to give up. I am a warrior who uses knowledge as her weapons and love as her shield. All I have are the words in my heart and I will keep sharing them to keep my son alive.
“Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—I took the one less traveled”…
Mother of Johnathan~Forever 4~

Five Year Moratorium on Childhood Vaccines-SIGN TODAY!

https://petitions.whitehouse.gov/petition/five-year-moratorium-childhood-vaccines

American children are in crisis with an explosion of once-rare neurological problems like autism and seizures.

Recent scientific evidence has shown massive contamination of vaccines with unsuspected chemical and biological agents. Other evidence shows dramatic differences in in health outcomes between vaccinated and un-vaccinated children. In order to remedy this we ask the White House to:

ONE: Impose a five year moratorium on all childhood vaccines from birth to age eighteen.

TWO: Repeal the 1986 National Childhood vaccine injury Act and return vaccines to the traditional civil justice system.

THREE: Perform large scale studies of vaccinated and un-vaccinated children.

FOUR: Ban direct pharmaceutical advertising to consumers and allow such advertising only to medical professionals